Sex is allowed to be anything you both like. This also includes loving biting, slapping on the butt, bondage games and living out other hard and wild fantasies. To make it fun for both, it is important to make arrangements and to pay attention to body signals. With our tips for good, hard sex, you can increase your desire for lovemaking and move up a gear in bed.
It's true: sex in a relationship is an expression of love and tenderness. But this does not mean that it always has to be just cuddle sex.
Hard sex games bring variety into the bedroom (or any other place) and signal: I trust you.
It is only important that it is done amicably and that exact arrangements are made. After all, you will reach your limits and maybe even expand them. Therefore pay attention to where you want to go and where your partner wants to go.
Talk to your partner about hard sex
Before you tie your partner to the bed and spank him, you should talk about it. Because he may have very different ideas of rough lovemaking than you do.
Talk about your wishes, ideas and what you would like to try out. And very important: Make a code word.
A code word, or safeword, is a word that signals to you or your love partner that a limit has been reached at this point and the pleasure play is interrupted.
It serves to give both of you the security you need to get involved in this kind of erotic game, to let yourself go and give yourself to the other. If you don't have this, she or he might not want to have sex anymore. So choose a code word for your sex game together.
Since hard sex sometimes involves saying "no" and meaning "yes", it is advisable to choose a word that has nothing to do with the sex game, but that you can quickly think of. It can be "stop", but something like "pasta casserole" or even better a monosyllabic word that you don't have to think about for long.
Extreme sex and its variations
There is not the hard sex, but there are very different kinds of sex. From nibbling and biting to where your fantasy ends, everything is possible and allowed. Of course always provided that your partner agrees.
What is already hard for one person may still be cuddle sex for the other - don't let this make you feel insecure. Test yourself and your limits and only try something new if you completely trust your sex partner and yourself.
By the way, it can happen that you wish your partner to touch you a little harder, but he has a problem with it. If this is the case, talk about it. This can have different reasons.
The two main reasons are:
He's repulsed by the idea of causing you pain. Then it is important to encourage him bit by bit to give you that pleasure. Show him that if he gets a little "ouch" from you, it will make you wild and hot. He is the one who wants to be dominated by you. If so, suggest that you take turns so that everyone gets their money's worth during sex.
Animalistic: Nibbling, biting and scratching
Many people like to be tenderly bitten in the neck, earlobes, nipples or even in the genital area. Also the sensual scratching of the back and upper arms is experienced by many as lustful.
However, the sensation of pain is different for each person, so you should keep a close eye on your partner's signals. For example, the nipples of women are usually more sensitive than those of men. So what may already hurt you may still be gentle caressing for him - and vice versa.
The best thing is for you and your life partner to feel your nipples slowly. If you are not quite sure whether he likes it, ask.
Attention: Even if it is hard sex and animalistic, take care not to bite or scratch each other until it bleeds. Especially with long fingernails this can happen very quickly. If it is only a slight scratch, a disinfectant spray after the act of love is sufficient. It only gets stupid if the fun ends at the doctor's instead of an orgasm.
Surprising: The slap on the bottom
It doesn't have to be the butt: Also the back, thighs, intimate area, breasts or even the face may get a slap, if the other person likes it. Some parts of the body are more sensitive than others, which is why the following applies here too: Feel your way slowly.
Aids can increase the pleasure even more. Cooking spoons, ruler or even a whip bring further variety to the act of love. But be careful: a small blow with the whip can be more painful than a blow of the same strength with a flat hand.
Tip: With this kind of hard sex, the attraction lies especially in stroking the sex partner before the lusty, painful blow. The best place to do this is at the exact spot where the slap is then given. Only when the other person no longer expects it, let it clap. The surprise effect triggers an additional wave of passion.
Extrem Bondage: To be at the mercy of desire
If you want to take it even harder, try out bondage games with your loved one or your loved one. Being handcuffed to the bed with handcuffs, scarves or ropes and at the mercy of the other person can make you feel tingly - and not only on your skin.
The code word is especially important for this kind of hard sex, because it's the only way the handcuffed person can escape the act. But once you have clarified this with your "partner", the pleasure can begin.
It doesn't always have to be the bed that is tied to. A chair, the heater or naked on the kitchen table can also increase the eroticism. The same applies here: Permission is given where it pleases.
Note: Do not tie the ropes and cloths too tightly, otherwise the blood circulation is hindered or the skin is cut. It is better to tighten a little looser than too tight - even at the risk that your partner may free himself. You can get detailed advice on the most common practices and the appropriate equipment in your erotic shop of confidence.
Everything extreme is fun
Of course, you don't have to settle on one type of game. The real fun in bed is when you combine everything.
How about your trusted partner tying you to a chair, standing in front of you and slowly grabbing the insides of your thighs with a wooden spoon? Finally, he goes around you, stops behind you, bends forward towards you, breathes gently in your ear, grabs your hair and pulls your head back... and the next moment you feel a gentle pain in your nipple?
You decide for yourself which components you want to bring into your game. As long as everyone likes it, you can only do everything right during sex.
Turn off your head and surrender to your love partner. Let yourself be used or ask your better half to be allowed to use her as a person. Hard sex lives from doing just that. It's a comedy game about letting go and trusting yourself.
In this way, you break routines that will eventually set in and become tiresome even in the bedroom. To keep the pleasure alive, it is good to surprise yourself and your partner in bed - or other exciting places - again and again.
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