Drawers are certainly helpful for certain topics, but not for the topic of bisexuality. Because it is not possible to say exactly where bisexual orientation begins and a heterosexual or homosexual one ends. Is it already bi, if a woman is in a relationship with a man, but dreams of sex with women? Or do you have to live out your bisexual dreams to be bisexual?
And so life with bisexuality is also completely different. Many bisexually oriented people do not necessarily live out their bisexuality. For some people the knowledge that they are bi is already ok and sufficient on its own.
But in practice they live in a purely homo- or heterosexual relationship. Others live together with a same-sex partner and at times with an opposite-sex partner.
Still other bisexuals think for a long time that they are homosexual and are then completely irritated when they suddenly feel attracted to the opposite sex, for example, when a lesbian woman catches herself also being attracted to men.
Bisexuality is often not taken seriously
The fact that bisexuality is never taken seriously is shown by sayings like: "A little bit of bi never hurts" and the fact that stars and starlets repeatedly call themselves bi and show themselves kissing and holding hands in public, thus causing a media stir.
In some areas, such as the music and film industry, it is certainly also chic to be bisexual. But unfortunately this also causes that many bisexual people have to struggle with the assumption that they just want to make themselves interesting.
Which of course is nonsense. Because which bisexual loving person would only come out as bisexual for pure marketing purposes? After all, bisexuality is not always seen as wild and exciting, but often also as indecisiveness or a pure phase until one has clearly decided on a direction, i.e. hetero or homosexual.
Even within the community of homosexuals, lesbians and transsexuals, bisexuals do not always find it easy to be taken seriously. Of course, all of them fight together against stereotyping and for the right to love and live as one wants without being discriminated against.
But often bisexuality within the community is also seen as nothing half and nothing whole, as if one keeps all possibilities open. One simply does not believe that they are really bisexual.
Science is divided
And there are actually scientists who say that you are only bisexual because social pressure prevents you from being open about your homosexuality. So there is still a loophole left open, for example, when a man has started a family with his partner, but at the same time wants to be with men. Here, bisexuals are often accused of not daring to come out clearly as homosexuals.
In fact, science is still divided on the subject of bisexuality. Some scientists see bisexual love as just that: just a phase that you go through, especially at a young age, before you have clearly orientated yourself sexually. Others see it as proven in their studies that bisexuality is an independent sexual orientation and not a transitional phase.
Bisexual is not equal to polyamorous
Bisexual people do not have it easy in their partnerships either. The preference for both sexes naturally causes a lot of insecurity. Can the partner never be completely sure because he or she always has to think that something is missing from the other? After all, he or she is attracted to women and men, and there is only one desire that can be served.
The answer is clear: bisexuality only means that you can imagine more with both sexes, and not that you have to live both at the same time and live polyamorously, i.e. not monogamously. Bisexual people are certainly as faithful or unfaithful as everyone else.
Aren't we all a little bi?
Of the 11,000 men surveyed by Kinsey, 90 to 95 percent said that they were bisexual to a certain extent, i.e. that they had dreamt of someone of the same sex during sex, found him physically attractive or had come physically closer to him.
Kinsey's conclusion from this: Basically, each of us is both heterosexual and homosexual. However, the majority of us do not live out one side of this. An assumption that Sigmund Freud also made, by the way.
A recent survey by C-Date.de showed different figures. Only five percent of the women and three percent of the men said of themselves that they were bisexual. After all, ten percent of female users and eight percent of male users had sex with the opposite sex. Kissing with same-sex partners or other erotic experiences had already been made by as many as 25 percent of the women and ten percent of the men.
No matter whether one believes Freud, Kinsey or current surveys: The numbers show one thing very clearly: We should urgently stop thinking in pigeonholes.
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